BB#1 Pregnancy Week 23

Mar 12, 2009

I keep having this thought. What if I fail as a mother? Let alone a good wife to say. Can I cope by myself in USA? Frankly speaking, I don't really know a lot of the RSAF wives. How do I even seek help if I shall need any? If I can't take care of the baby, who to take care of Hubb? Will I be neglecting him because of the baby? 

I guess I will probably be the only preggy among all. I can no longer the happy-go-lucky young lady anymore. I have huge responsibilities on my shoulder now. I can't be playful like before anymore and so immature. I have to set an example. Hubb definitely can't be with me all the time since he's there for work not some kinda holidays. I have to learn how to handle by myself. Maybe that's me but I really dislike the idea of asking for help from other people unless it's really necessary. I rather do it by myself. 

And no I'm not suffering from any pre-natal blue. My feeling at the moment is just purely calm & serene. I know there's a kind of inner strength in me that has never been use yet. It's just not the time I believe. The priorities in my life will be evolving around Hubb and the baby and in order to take care of these 2 sweets in my life, I need to be strong not just have to be strong. 

Lately, baby is getting more active than ever. She's always moving, kicking & punching around especially late in the night, when I am lying on the bed. The feeling is very weird but I just love it. It seems that she is interacting with me alone. And it's just our 'alone' time together minus the hectic at work in the day. She must have miss Daddy a lot too.

I think she will grow up to be Daddy's little girl and by then I will be the jealous one to see her snatching his attention away from me. Ha... But I won't mind a bit because you are my angel baby too and I can't wait to meet you.

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