Mar 9, 2011

My mum had a very bad fall just before I went to the states. The doc told her she can opt out from the op and go with the physiotherapy. But that apparently did not really go very well. She don't really go for the therapy religiously and it doesn't help when she had another minor fall just last month.

She said the doc asked her to go for the op this time when she went to visit him a few days ago but she has many concerns like how she have to recuperate for a year or so and continue with physiotherapy to recover, how she won't be able to do houseworks and do the cooking, how she can't help out dad with his work and taking care of the kids. She is just plain stubborn even though I told her things will work out in the end and told her to go for it and not worry so much.

I am already going to enroll Keira into childcare and worse comes to worst, I will put Kerri in infant care or with a nanny (if I can find one) or we will hire a maid. Financial wise will definitely put a strain but these kind of things are unavoidable. I really wish the childcare center can be ready soon as that means I can go out looking for jobs actively instead of staying at home. I want to do something for the family.

Lately, she seems to understand that I am under stress and will volunteer to help out to look after Keira occasionally. And when I told her I can cope with them at home, she will be worrying that I will not be eating well and will drop by my place with lunch/dinner. I cannot be anymore grateful.  Just like last night for example, for no reason, Kerri actually cried for an hour or so. No she's not colicky and I do not know what was wrong with her. My mum can actually took a cab in the night and came over to help me out even though I said it's okay I can do it. That's the way she behave. Always worrying for others all the time.

Each time she help me out, I will tell myself to be a stronger person. I cannot rely on her all the time. And since I can managed to do that while in the States without the help of the family, I believe I can do it here too. She's not getting any younger and with her state of health, I really hope she can go for the op soon instead of dragging it any longer. I will keep persuading her nevertheless.

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