Getting breathless...

May 2, 2011

It's really hard to juggle with work, social life, self-developement and family. And I am only a mother of 2 not 3 or 4 or 6 (as what dear Jes said she dreamt of).

It seems like I've begin to lose myself to life.

Work - I am at this cross junction not know where I wish to go forward next. I am stuck. It's getting nowhere. It's neither here or there at this point. I no longer know what I really seek in my career. No more that ambitious anymore.

Social life - I feel myself drifting slowly from my girlfriends. I simply do not have the capability to be able to get away and meet up with them as and when I wish to now. Logistic is very important in this aspect.

Self-development - It's already quite an achievement if I can finish a good book within a short period of time. Let alone to say finding a cardio class to work off those wriggly tummy or to attend anything to further improve myself.

Family - Well, at least I have my 2 darlings right? So I guess it isn't that bad. Even though I will be getting so tired by the end of a working day and upon reaching home, we will have only like a couple of hours to spend before bed time. For Keira, we still have a bit of bonding especially before bedtime, when I have to read to her every night. But for Kerri, she will already be fast asleep whenever we reached home, all I can do is to tuck her in and give her a peck on her forehead before saying good night to her.

I seriously need some enlightenment in life now. It seems like everyone's life is getting so excited and fulfilling whereas mine ... I don't know what to say.

Perhaps I really need to set much smaller goals that I can attain regularly instead of bigger ones and make myself so miserable. Maybe God has something plan for me out there. I just need to continue seeking, that's all. But for how long?  I am getting a little impatient here.

4 comments:

Donglun said...

seriously i think it about having time for yourselves. it the same for guys... having certain freedom time for ourselves sacrificing the slp lolz..

but again.. i dont have kids lolz

Phyllis said...

Well it is definitely easier to say than to be done like always...

donglun said...

of cos it always easier say than done but having always saying without trying to do it as good as nothing..

Phyllis said...

You will realize that LOGISTIC is a major word in your vocab once you have kids...