I miss my grandma~

Oct 2, 2008

29th June is the day that grandma left us. I still can remember very clearly watching her gasping her last breath. This usually happens in movies or dramas, I know.  But it's never been so real until that day. 


The last time that I really spent a great time with her was when we went for our holidays in aussie when I was in my sec sch days. Eating burgers under the sun, taking the roller coaster ride at Movie World & strolling along the gold coast night market. We were sharing an apartment back then together and practically just had each other's company.  She was still so strong back then because she will go for her taiji lesson every morning with her friends in the neighborhood. 

One of the hobby of her was making pearl necklaces. Grandpa will buy boxes of pearls if I remember correctly and you can see her sitting on the sofa threading those pearls into a lovely necklaces and the biggest regret was I simply don't know where I have placed those necklaces. 

She also likes to make pillows out of dried tea leaves that Grandpa will always throw after he's done with his tea drinking session and sew blankets.  

I think she can be the modern Martha Stewart.


She left when grandpa went home just half an hr later to catch a rest. No one have the heart to call him to drive back to hospital but instead got my uncle to pick him up. 

Nearly 1 hr later, grandpa arrived back in hospital. Seeing him walking calmly into the ward and to her bedside, holding her hand and broke down halfway through talking to her. It's really traumatic. I tell you. I have never seen him behaving this way before. Never. He's always one full of confident. I never knew that there's this side of him. 

He looked so lonely & lost during the whole week at funeral even though the whole family and all the extended relatives were there. Occasionally he will walk to the coffin looking down at grandma and sob quietly. It's really heartbreaking to see him like that. I can only watch. This is the woman who has been with him for the last 60 yrs of their life together. How do you expect him to take it?

The whole week of funeral just passed by like that. Many relatives came to pay her the last respect and on the last day, I was surprised that quite a lot of people turned up to accompany her on her last journey and I am truly touched. 

Even though, my grandpa is always so busy with his business & life outside and hardly have time to accompany her. She hardly complains. It's only till the last few years when my grandma contracted Alzhemier's that he stay at home more often. And him himself, the health is detoriating as well. His hearing is worsen day by day and talking on the phone with him can be rather tedious. You have to repeat yourself a lot of times to bring your message across.

Grandpa called recently saying he's lonely and wish for more company. I told him do not think so much. We will try to keep him company as we can. He said now he don't even meet up with those old uncles anymore that he's been hanging out ever since I was young. He can't even hear what they are talking properly and feels that they can get irritated when he keep asking them to repeat. Uncle hardly talk to him at all in the house. They are both stubborn.

Anyway, I think i'm getting rather emotional at this point. I only hope that by the time we come back from states, I can give him a little chubby child to play with and hold our traditional chinese wedding ceremony. I have changed my mind. Maybe a simple wedding is not that bad afterall. I want him to enjoy while he can. This is the least I can do for him now. 

Well, I have just called Kor & Didi that we will be having breakfast with him this coming Saturday and bring him to have his fav. Bak Ku Teh. 

Now my wish is just for my family to be healthy & happy. As the saying goes, family is where you belong to eventually no matter you like it or not. And by the way, I love my family. :)

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